Celebrating Your Marriage in the Faith Community of St. Raphael
Dear Engaged Couples,
Through your Baptism ,you entered into a loving relationship with God and God's Church. By choosing to celebrate your wedding at St. Raphael's Catholic Church, it is evident that you want God to remain a part of your life as you make a new, loving commitment to one another through your marriage. The Faith Community of St. Raphael is committed to making your wedding day memorable and prayerful for all. As with other sacraments, preparation for the Sacrament of Marriage is not a luxury or an option, but a serious responsibility. To help facilitate the planning of this joyous event, you will find the following guidelines helpful. To download a copy in a printable format, click HERE.
More importantly, we want you to know that the prayers and support of the people and staff of St. Raphael's will be with you in the busy days of preparation for your wedding day and in the many happy days and years of married life that will follow. The "Prayer for Engaged Couples" on the next page is our prayer for you. We hope you and your family will pray it, too.
We invite you to call on us in times of joy and in times of need, and may God bless your marriage and the new life that you are about to begin together!
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God of love, throughout the ages- from generation to generation- you have loved your people. and you sent your beloved Son, Jesus to be a physical sign of your love for us.
Help us, Lord, as we prepare to marry in Christ. Give us a pure and generous love and help us to be prayful and faithful. Bless our marriage and our family and lead us always in your peace.
We pray that in good times and in bad, we will grow in love for each other.
In our struggles let us rejoice that you are there to rescue us. In our needs, let us know that you are near to help us.
In our joys, let us see that you are the beginning and the end of all our happiness.
We ask this through Christ our Lord.
AMEN.
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Couples wishing to be married at St. Raphael must be registered parishioners (or the parents of either the bride or groom must be registered parishioners) for at least 3 months before a wedding date can be confirmed. Other restrictions may also apply. . No further plans for the wedding are to be made until you have spoken to the Liturgy Director, Pat Chuchla 355-4545x125 regarding the date and reservation of the Church for that date. The Priests of the Joliet Diocese recommended to the Bishop that there be a minimum of six months during which a couple is prepared for marriage in the Catholic Churches of this Diocese. In accordance with that policy, all preparations for marriages must begin at least six months prior to the wedding
The six month period is a minimum, not a maximum period of preparation. The wedding date is tentative until you, the couple, together with the marriage preparation team and priest, determine that you are ready for marriage and that there is no obstacle to your marriage. (If either of you will not have reached your nineteenth birthday by the date of the wedding, no wedding date can be set until the couple has been interviewed by a counselor from Catholic Charities, and until the priest or deacon has received from the counselor, a positive recommendation to proceed with the preparations.) back
Weddings at St. Raphael's are scheduled on Saturdays no earlier than noon and no later than 2:30 PM . Friday afternoon and evening weddings are also permitted. Because of the heavy weekend Mass schedule, the celebration of Baptisms, and the other pastoral needs of the parish, weddings are not scheduled on Sundays. Also, no weddings may be scheduled during Holy Week (Palm Sunday through Easter Sunday). All 2:30 wedding parties must leave the church by 4:00 on Saturday to allow time for mass preparations. The 12:00 weddings must leave by 1:30 to allow for 2:30 weddings.
After a date has been set with the Liturgy Director, immediately call our Music Director, Ms. Valerie Giuliani at 630-355-4545, ext. 119 to schedule her availability for your wedding. back
A NEW BAPTISMAL CERTIFICATE WITH RECORD OF CONFIRMATION (if you have been Confirmed) issued within the year prior to your wedding date--not your original baptismal certificate. This is required for each baptized person (bride and groom).
Please note: to get a proof of your Baptism/Confirmation, simply call the parish where you were Baptized or Confirmed and have them send the records to you. You will need to know the date(s) you received the sacraments. If you were Baptized/Confirmed at St. Raphael's, we will have your records. You will need to provide the priest with the date you received each sacrament here at St. Raphael.
TWO MARRIAGE AFFIDAVITS FOR EACH PERSON MAY BE REQUIRED to determine freedom to marry in the Catholic Church. The priest or deacon will advise you if they are needed.
A PRE-NUPTIAL "FOCCUS" QUESTIONNAIRE (see below) for both bride and groom must be completed at a separate Saturday workshop as soon as possible after receiving your letter from St. Raphael. Consult the bulletin for dates and information and call the Liturgy Assistant, Jennifer Susina , at 630-355-4545, ext. 141 to register for a "FOCCUS" Workshop.
PROOF OF ATTENDANCE AT AN APPROVED MARRIAGE PREPARATION PROGRAM (see below) back
A MARRIAGE LICENSE must be obtained prior to the wedding from the DuPage County Clerk's office. Licenses may be obtained at:
The Wheaton Court House
421 N. County Farm Road
Wheaton , Illinois 60187
630-682-7035
Mondays through Fridays from 8:00 AM to 4:30 PM .
There is no requirement for a blood test or physical exam. Both persons must appear together in person with the $30.00 license fee, proper identification and proof of age. The wedding license will be issued the day you apply, but you must wait at least one day before you are married. The license remains valid for 60 days after it is issued. The wedding license should be presented to the priest, deacon or wedding hostess at the time of the wedding rehearsal. The license will be filled out by the priest or deacon presiding at your wedding. The Church will send it to the Bureau of Vital Statistics. back
Engagement is both an exciting and a stressful time. The excitement comes from the anticipation of formally committing oneself to an intimate relationship. The stresses come from fears of making such an awesome commitment, from the many and varied reactions of others, and from the wedding arrangements. Couples may be tempted to use the time of engagement solely as the time to plan and arrange the ceremony and reception. The Catholic community strongly urges a couple to use the engagement period as personal preparation for the days and years that follow the wedding celebration.
The Sacrament of Christian Marriage
"Christian spouses, in virtue of the sacrament of matrimony, signify and partake of the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and His Church. (Ephesians 5:30) The spouses thereby help each other to attain to holiness in their married life and by the rearing and education of their children. And so, in their state and way of life, they have their own special gift among the people of God (1 Corinthians 7:7)." ( Vatican II, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church , #11)
• Within two months after receiving your wedding confirmation letter and information packet, you must call the Liturgy Office (x141) to set a date to answer the FOCCUS inventory/questionnaire. This instrument is designed to identify areas where further discussion is recommended for the couple to increase readiness for marriage.
• Within one month after taking the FOCCUS, you must call Jennifer Susina 355-4545x141 to make arrangements to meet with one of our sponsor couples to discuss FOCCUS with you.
• St. Raphael's also requires that you attend either St. Raphael's Sponsor Couple Program or an Engaged Encounter Weekend. If you live out of town and can do neither, you must attend a similar program in another Parish or Diocese and supply proof of attendance.
Sponsor Couple Program
The Sponsor Program entails meeting individually with an experienced married couple of our Parish. Couples need to obtain 2 copies of the "For Better and Forever" preparation manual from the Liturgy Offices before the additional four meetings (with the couple who discussed FOCCUS with you) take place in the home of the married couple. Homework is expected to be done prior to the meetings. Times are arranged to fit the schedules of all. Each evening lasts between 2 ½ to 3 hours. For more information on this program, please contact Jennifer Susina 355-4545x141. There is no cost for this program.
Engaged Encounter Weekend
The Engaged Encounter is a weekend overnight experience offered by the Joliet Diocese for couples preparing to get married. Weekends are held at the St. Charles Borromeo Pastoral Center in Romeoville . For information on Engaged Encounter, call Elaine and Josh Zeller at 630-892-7596 ((jolietengagedencounter@hotmail.com). Cost is $165.00 (Registrations are only taken through the mail with a $65.00 deposit and registration form).
Personal Preparation
We invite you to prepare spiritually for the wedding day and for your married life by regular prayer and weekly attendance at Sunday liturgy. We strongly encourage you to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation in preparation for marriage, especially shortly before the wedding day. Confessions are heard regularly on Saturday afternoons in the day Chapel. See the parish bulletin for times . back
WEDDING LITURGY AND MUSIC PLANNING
To celebrate is to demonstrate the meaning of a joyful event. Your wedding celebration dramatizes the event with actions, words, rituals, and music that underline and heighten its importance as a sacrament of the Roman Catholic Church. The rites should be distinguished by a noble simplicity; they should be short, clear and unencumbered by useless repetitions.
"Liturgical services are not private functions, but are celebrations of the Church, which is the sacrament of unity, namely a holy people united and organized under the bishops. Therefore, liturgical services pertain to the whole body of the Church. They manifest it and have effects upon it; but, they concern individual members of the Church in different ways." ( Vatican II, Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy , #26)
Marriage, whether at Mass or at a Ceremony, is celebrated after the reading of the Gospel and the Homily . Please keep in mind the fact that all liturgical celebrations in the Church are first and foremost, acts of worship of God our Creator, through the Son, in union with the Holy Spirit . Secondly, the marriage rite celebrated in the Church accomplishes a work commanded by God, namely the union of man and woman in the bond of matrimony.
The priest, deacon or liturgist will determine with the couple the type of wedding (Mass or Ceremony). The couple will receive with their wedding date confirmation letter a book entitled Together for Life . This book contains an outline of the wedding Liturgy, be it a Mass or a Scripture Service, with choices of appropriate scripture, prayers and ritual options.
Please go through this book before you attend a Wedding Planning Workshop at which time the Liturgy Director and Music Director will explain the wedding ritual and your options. You must attend a Wedding Liturgy Planning Workshop at least six months before your wedding date. Dates for these workshops will appear in the parish bulletin. (Please call the Liturgy Assistant at 630-355-4545, ext. 141 to register for this workshop.) back
Because we value participation, the parish provides a worship booklet for all wedding Liturgies/ceremonies at no cost to you. Some of the information for the worship booklet will be decided on at the Wedding Liturgy Planning Workshop. Other information necessary for the worship booklet, such as prayers and scripture readings, can be chosen from the Together for Life book ahead of time and can be filled in prior to the date of the workshop on the planning which you received with this booklet. We suggest that you also fill in the names of parents, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. (with correct spellings of names) before coming to the workshop. More details about the booklets will be discussed at the workshop. Booklet covers are chosen from Parish stock. If you prefer a different or more personalized cover you may purchase them at the stores below or design your own covers.
John's Christian Store 1212 S. Naper Blvd. , Naperville 630-983-0076
Wheaton Religious Goods 218 W. Front St. , Wheaton 630-668-3971
Cokesbury Books & Church Supplies 4358 E New York St. , Aurora 630-585-0996
Naperville Religious Goods 24 W. Gartner Rd. , Naperville 630-718-1860
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You may wish to have family members or friends proclaim the Scripture readings and intercessions (petitions) during the liturgy/service or present the gifts of bread and wine (if the marriage takes place during a Mass). Those chosen to read need to be good at reading and speaking in front of a group. Poor reading/proclamation of scripture can make a joke of this most important part of the wedding liturgy/service and can become a cause of embarrassment for the bride and groom and for the person who is chosen to read. back
"Music in worship enhances and adds a dimension of meaning words alone cannot give." ( Music in Catholic Worship , #24)
Music at weddings is an integral part of the Christian worship of the whole community gathered on the occasion for the celebration and prayer.
"Music used in Church is prayer. All music, whether vocal or instrumental, . during . the wedding liturgy must be sacred rather than secular; music appropriate for Catholic worship. Music must be of sound theology, scripture based and appropriate to the liturgical celebration and season. The music must allow for congregational singing, and be in keeping with sound liturgical practices." (Diocese of Joliet Wedding Guidelines, updated 1991)
Our parish Music Director, Ms. Valerie Giuliani , assists you in selecting music for your wedding liturgy, whether or not she will be the musician at your liturgy/service. Choices of music are played at the Wedding Liturgy Planning Workshop. Please see the Wedding Music insert for further details regarding the music for your celebration. back
For your convenience, a "Bride's Room" (including a large restroom with ample counter space) is available. If you wish, you and your attendants may dress for the wedding at our Church. This may be convenient on days when weather is inclement or at anytime. Wedding hostesses will conduct your rehearsal and are there early on the day of the wedding to welcome guests, answer any questions, provide for your needs, and ensure the orderly flow of the liturgy. back
All monetary gifts/music fees are due in the Liturgy office with your completed Wedding Liturgy planning sheet six weeks before your wedding date . (The checks will not be cashed until after your wedding ceremony.) Any questions regarding fees can be directed to Pat in the Liturgy Office.
The gift for the use of the Church facilities for parishioners who have been registered for at least 1 year at the time the wedding is booked is $250.00. The gift for those parishioners who have been registered less than 1 year is $500.00.
Fees for the Music director and/or instrumentalists and soloist are to be paid with individual checks for each person. The Music Director will advise you of music fees due for your wedding based on your selections.
Christian marriage not only enriches the couple, but the church, the community and the world.Couples married at St. Raphael Church are strongly encouraged to make a gift to the Loaves and Fishes Community Pantry on the day of their wedding. This gift is a response of Christian love and concern for the poor. It is good to remember how much is spent on the purchase and/or rental of wedding gowns, bridesmaids' gowns, tuxedos, flowers, photographs, reception, etc. The Loaves and Fishes Community Pantry works hard to provide food to the local poor. Generosity to the poor on the occasion of Christian marriage is particularly expressive of the sharing of genuine married love. Such generosity allows the couple to keep in perspective the many gifts God has given to all of us. back
Upon request, we will grant permission for a priest/deacon friend or priest/deacon family member to celebrate the Wedding Liturgy or officiate at the service. However, our Director of Liturgy, Pat Chuchla , must first be contacted to set the date and to begin the preparation process. back
Ministers are welcome to attend and assist at interfaith marriages in accordance with ecumenical guidelines. Since Eucharist is a sign of the reality of oneness in faith, life and worship, and people of other faiths are not ordinarily allowed to partake of this sign of unity (Catholic Communion), we encourage interfaith couples to witness their vows in the context of a ceremony that does not include celebration of the Eucharist. The ceremony includes everything but the Liturgy of the Eucharist and Communion Rite, and is only about 10 minutes shorter. back
GUIDELINES FOR THE RECEPTION OF COMMUNION
FOR CATHOLICS: As Catholics, we fully participate in the celebration of the Eucharist when we receive Holy Communion. We are encouraged to receive communion devoutly and frequently. In order to be properly disposed to receive Communion, participants should not be conscious of grave sin and normally should have fasted for one hour. A person who is conscious of grave sin is not to receive the Body and Blood of the Lord without prior sacramental confession except for a grave reason where there is no opportunity for confession. In this case, the person is to be mindful of the obligation to make an act of perfect contrition, including the intention of confessing as soon as possible ( Code of Canon Law, Canon 916 ). A frequent reception of the Sacrament of Penance is encouraged for all.
FOR FELLOW CHRISTIANS: We welcome our fellow Christians to this celebration of the wedding Mass as our brothers and sisters. We pray that our common baptism and the action of the Holy Spirit in this celebration will draw us closer to one another and begin to dispel the sad divisions that separate us. We pray that these will lessen and finally disappear, in keeping with Christ's prayer for us "that they may be one" (John 17:21 ). Because Catholics believe that the celebration of the Eucharist is a sign of the reality of the oneness of faith, life, and worship, members of those churches with whom we are not yet fully united are ordinarily not admitted to Holy Communion. Eucharistic sharing in exceptional circumstances by other Christians requires permission according to the directives of the diocesan bishop and the provisions of canon law (canon 844§ 4). Members of the Orthodox Churches , the Assyrian Church of the East, and the Polish National Catholic Church are urged to respect the discipline of their own churches. According to Roman Catholic discipline, the Code of Canon Law does not object to the reception of communion by Christians of these churches (Canon 844§ 3).
FOR THOSE NOT RECEIVING HOLY COMMUNION: All who are not receiving holy communion are encouraged to express in their hearts a prayerful desire for unity with the Lord Jesus and with one another.
FOR NON-CHRISTIANS: We also welcome to the celebration those who do not share our faith in Jesus Christ. While we cannot admit them to holy communion, we ask them to offer their prayers for the peace and the unity of the human family.
Copyright © 1996, United States Catholic Conference. All rights reserved.
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The principal task of the usher is to make everyone welcome and to seat people together in the front of the church. Please discuss seating arrangements with the wedding hostess on the night of the rehearsal. (The first few pews should be reserved for the wedding attendants and immediate family members.) All guests are to be seated at least ten minutes before the starting time of the wedding. The parents of the bride and groom will be seated last. Guests arriving late will quietly seat themselves. back
To maintain the dignity of the celebration of this sacrament, the following parish policies will apply both on the wedding day and on the night of the rehearsal.
THE USE OF ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED AT ANY TIME IN THE CHURCH by persons participating in the rehearsal or in the wedding liturgy/ceremony (before, during or after the occasion). This includes the wedding party, guests and others connected with the wedding. These substances and their use are inconsistent with the atmosphere of respect and reverence that ought to prevail.
Any member of the wedding party consuming alcoholic beverages on church property will not be allowed to participate in the ceremony. When alcohol is present, a wedding Mass will be shortened to a ceremony only, no photographs will be allowed after the ceremony is completed, and everyone will be requested to leave. The couple getting married is responsible for assuring that all members of their wedding party (and guests) are aware of this policy. Please don't embarrass yourself and your guests.
If the bride or groom has obviously been drinking before the wedding it will not take place. Consumption of alcohol impairs your judgment and becomes grounds for an annulment.
Loud or unruly behavior in or around the church is also inappropriate at any time.
Throwing of rice, confetti, birdseed, flower petals or anything else in the church or outside on church property is not allowed. The mess creates safety, maintenance and insurance problems for the parish. Bubbles can only be used outside.
We have been advised by environmentalists that balloon launchings can cause serious problems for the wildlife in the area. We ask that you consider this before releasing balloons. No balloons are allowed in the main body of the church at any time.
AbsolutelyNO sparklers are to be used at weddings back
Arrangements for flowers are to be made by the bride and groom with their own florist. ANY FLOWERS OR OTHER DECORATIONS IN THE SANCTUARY ARE NOT TO BE MOVED, THIS INCLUDES LITURGICAL BANNERS/ HANGINGS AND ALTAR CLOTHS. YOU MAY ADD TO WHAT IS ALREADY THERE . Cut flower arrangements or potted plants are acceptable . NO FLOWERS OR CANDLES ARE ALLOWED ON THE ALTAR TABLE AT ANY TIME . At most times of the year, we would prefer if you take your arrangements with you after the wedding. If you wish to donate your floral arrangements to the parish following the wedding liturgy, please call the Director of Liturgy at the Liturgy Office before ordering flowers, so that your flowers will coordinate with the color and style of the liturgical decorations of that particular time of year.
( PLEASE NOTE: MANY RED BANNERS ARE USED FOR WEEKENDS IN NOVEMBER AND LATE MAY/JUNE WHEN CONFIRMATIONS, PENTECOST, AND GRADUATION ARE CELEBRATED.)
FLOWER PETALS ARE NOT AL LOWED
Florists may attach bows, flowers, etc., to the pews, provided that no tape or tacks are used . The parish has plastic clips available to which these items must be attached. THERE ARE 28 PEWS ON THE MAIN AISLE. If used bows are put on only a few pews . Bows can be brought to church on the night of the rehearsal and the wedding hostess will attach them to the clips for you.
Our church is amply decorated during the Advent Season (4 weeks before Christmas), Christmas Season (Christmas Eve through and including the second Sunday of January), and the Lenten/Easter Season (Ash Wednesday through Pentecost--which is celebrated six Sundays after Easter).
FLOWER STANDS
The following stands/tables are available at the parish as flower stands:
Tables: 16"x30"x30" tall
15"x23"x30"tall
Wooden Pedestals: 2- 14" square x 18" high
2- 14" square x 24" high
2- 14" square x 30" high
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You may greet your guests after the wedding in a receiving line, provided that time for both the greeting of guests and the taking of pictures does not extend beyond the 4:00 PM deadline for leaving the church. back
AFTER THE WEDDING
If one or both of you were registered at St. Raphael as part of your parents' household, you will be deleted from your parents' records as of the date of your wedding. If you wish to remain a part of St. Raphael Parish, you will need to register as a new household with your new name, address, and phone number. If one of you is already registered on your own, you will need to update your registration with the parish office. Please call the receptionist at 355-4545, ext 120 to register or to make changes. If you will not be staying at St. Raphael, you will need to register with your new parish. back
Wedding rehearsals are usually scheduled at 6:30 PM on the evening immediately before your wedding. The scheduled time for your rehearsal was included in the letter confirming your wedding date. If you must change your assigned rehearsal time, please contact the Liturgy Director, Pat Chuchla at 630-355-4545 , ext 125, before making arrangements for a rehearsal dinner.
All must arrive promptly for your rehearsal . This is a necessity because of the priest's/deacon's/wedding hostess' schedules and other parish events. Rehearsals usually last about one hour. Your entire wedding party and anyone who is to exercise a liturgical role in the wedding liturgy (readers, giftbearers, etc.) must attend the rehearsal. Please decide before the rehearsal how you wish to pair your attendants for the entrance procession. We remind you that even during the rehearsal, you are in the presence of the Lord. All behavior during the rehearsal must be dignified and reverent. back
ROSES FOR THE PARENTS presented at the Rite of Peace are entirely optional. This rite should not be given undue prominence over the elements which surround it If chosen, the flowers are placed on the gift table before the liturgy until needed.
BOUQUET FOR THE HOLY FAMILY after the liturgy or ceremony, before the recessional. If this option is chosen, we encourage both the bride and groom to join in prayer before the Holy Family as a sign of their unity. The flowers are placed on the gift table before the liturgy until needed.
AISLE RUNNER. The parish does not provide a runner for the center aisle, and use of a runner is optional. Please notify your florist that our aisle is 68 feet long. A 75 FOOT RUNNER IS SUGGESTED The runner is attached to the floor by the wooden runner strip. No tape may be used on the floor tiles.
UNITY CANDLE. When the marriage is celebrated at Mass, the Eucharist itself is the sign of unity. The couple, united in Christ in the Sacrament of Marriage is a sign of unity. Use of the Unity Candle is not an official part of the Catholic Marriage Rite. No other symbols, such as a unity candle are necessary . The bride and groom provide their own unity candle and side candles if this optional ceremony is desired. The parish does have a unity candle stand available for your use. It accommodates up to a 3" diameter unity candle and two side candles ( dripless white dinner candles are best - it is very difficult to remove wax from the floor). Unity candles may be purchased at Wheaton Religious, John's Christian Store, Cokesbury, and Naperville Religious Goods (addresses and phone numbers given earlier) or at a candle or card shop. Some couples also choose to decorate the unity candle stand with greenery or flowers. The stand is 4 feet tall. back
Guidelines for Photography/Videography
(Please give a copy of this page to your photographer and/or videographer)
St. Raphael Catholic Church is a physical building in which this parish community gathers to worship. Even though you have been hired by the bride and groom to perform a service for them, the atmosphere of prayer and reverence must be preserved in our church at all times. This church building is a house of prayer, not a photographic studio. The movement of a photographer or the glare of portable lights can very often be the biggest distraction to the prayerfulness of a wedding. Please refrain from the use of flash photography during the ceremony. So that you may effective provide the wedding couple with the service they desire, we present you these guidelines to insure that both you and this parish community achieve our desired ends.
VIDEOGRAPHERS/PHOTOGRAPHERS MUST CHECK IN WITH THE WEDDING HOSTESSES UPON ARRIVAL AT THE CHURCH
Within the hour before the ceremony, pictures are not allowed in the church, nor in the sacristy areas (the rooms where the priest/deacon gets ready for the Liturgy) nor the Narthex (the area where the baptismal font is located).
Video cameras on a tripod in a fixed position off the altar platform are allowed.
Cameras and/or video cameras are not allowed on the altar platform and photographers/videographers must remain on the floor; only available lighting is to be used. This will add to the dignity of the occasion and will assist the gathered community in participating more fully in the wedding liturgy.
We ask that no photography or videography be taken in the gallery without first consulting the Music Director.
Picture taking is allowed for ½ hour after the liturgy. All must be out of the church at 4:00 PM to allow for set-up time for the Saturday evening liturgy. Due to the Sacrament of Reconciliation (held in the Chapel), a spirit of quiet and reverence is to prevail during this time.
We sincerely appreciate your cooperation with these guidelines. THANK YOU! back